“Until a person intends honesty, he doesn’t realize the extent of his dishonesty” ~ Mike A.
Maybe this is your first attempt at sobriety. Or maybe you’ve been in and out of AA, or NA, or rehab, or outpatient, or some other treatment program. Maybe you even know the AA book, and maybe you’ve even been through the steps. Maybe you’ve traded alcohol for pills, or visa versa, and you’ve said to yourself, “AA isn’t for me. They have all this talk about God. I’ve been thru the steps, but it didn’t work.”
Maybe you’ve even read Breaking the cycle of relapse, Part 1 and can related to everything there, but still cannot escape the idea that you simply cannot cope with life without periodically returning to the bottle (glass or plastic). What then? What can you do?
Well, dear reader, let me pose you a few questions if you have tried recovery before:
- Were you thorough and fearless from the very start?
- Did you hold on to old ideas?
- Did you have a lurking reservation?
- Did you put aside your prejudice, opinions, and what you think you know?
- Did you make all the amends? Pay the money back?
- Did you practice the spiritual disciplines of the 10th and 11th step?
- Did you put your recovery first?
Five miles out, Five miles back
If you swam from shore 5 miles out to sea, you will have to swim 5 miles back to shore. There are no shortcuts.
One of the concepts that was difficult for me in recovery was the fact that I had to work at my recovery as hard and as long as I did when I was using. This is an impossible task if you haven’t hit bottom, or if your last bottom is a distant memory. There is a short window after a bottom where you MUST get to work, lest you return to the cycle of addiction. Early recovery is hard, but if you keep with you the concept of “5 miles out, 5 miles back”, you will know to take “one day at a time” and allow recovery to work.
If you understand the concepts of powerlessness in Breaking the cycle of relapse, Part 1, but are not yet at a point where the steps of recovery are digestible, then that’s OK. At least you are being honest. Just be ready for the next bottom, and when it comes, pray that God will keep you alive and you can surrender to this simple program.
Related Reading: Getting Honest with Ourselves
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