“What you are aware of, you are in control of. What you are not aware of, controls you” ~ Anthony DeMello
Understanding the Problem
For most addicts and alcoholics, being a slave to mind altering chemicals is a heartbreaking riddle. There are so many variables to the cycle of addiction/recovery/relapse that it can be hard to pinpoint what exactly needs to be done in order to get well and strong enough to break out of the pattern.
You’ll never beat that game
One of the best pieces of literature on this topic is the book “Alcoholics Anonymous”, a ground-breaking book for its time. Written in 1939 By Bill Wilson, the “Big Book” of AA has helped millions of sick and suffering addicts from around the world. From its pages have sprung all 12 step recovery programs worldwide.
As Bill writes in his description of the alcoholic (or addict, if you prefer), the addicted person has lost power, choice, and control over their “drug of choice”. This means the affected person can no longer just “have two and go home”, or “take as prescribed”. Those options are out the window. The saying that “one is too many, a hundred is not enough” and “Mike takes a drink, the drink takes a drink, and then the drink takes Mike” are good euphemisms for this concept. We no longer are able to regulate, control & enjoy the thing that gives us a sense of ease and comfort. If we control it, we cannot enjoy it, and if we enjoy it, we cannot control it. It’s a game we cannot win.
“I can stop using; the trouble is I always get started again”
If you can see the irony in the above statement, then you are already on your way to understanding the true nature of the problem. We do stop drinking. We do stop drugging. The problem is we cannot stay stopped for any real length of time, and if we do, we are miserable. We have no quality or enjoyment of life. We are avoiding alcohol or drugs rather than losing our taste for them. Ultimately due to life conditions, depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, problems in personal relationships, job or legal issues, or just because we wanted to “check out” or “have a good time”, we ultimately cannot stay away from our drug. It’s almost as if it calls to us by name.
Bow to your master
If the following conditions are true for you, then you are probably a “real” alcoholic or drug addict:
- A) you have lost power, choice, and control over how much
- B) once you stopped (for whatever reason) you cannot stay stopped
By “real” alcoholic or “real” drug addict, we mean that you cannot change because you “want” to. Most likely you will be unable to get sober with any real quality of sobriety for any length of time on your own power. Many of us have tried and failed conclusively. We had to have some kind of help.
Try it for yourself
If you believe you are an exception to this, or you haven’t passed into the realm of “helplessness”, then see for yourself. If you can control your drinking/drug use, or once you’ve stopped you can stay stopped, then the words on these pages will mean little to you. However if you believe that these conditions may apply to you, then there is hope.
Recovery and breaking the cycle of relapse is possible.
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